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Thursday, November 13th, 2008
What would you do?
Say you have a smart attractive 15 year old daughter....has a great group of friends, you like her best friend, you like her boyfriend. Basically a good kid.
The she brings home her progress report and it looks like this:
98 Health
98 Adv. English II
94 World History
100 Photography
100 Newspaper
83 Adv. Algebra II
98 Choir
69 Human A & P
What would you do? I am open to all suggestions
What would you do?
Say you have a smart attractive 15 year old daughter....has a great group of friends, you like her best friend, you like her boyfriend. Basically a good kid.
The she brings home her progress report and it looks like this:
98 Health
98 Adv. English II
94 World History
100 Photography
100 Newspaper
83 Adv. Algebra II
98 Choir
69 Human A & P
What would you do? I am open to all suggestions
I'm not there yet with kids and report cards so I'm not in your shoes... but... from my standpoint, I'd be proud. Very proud. It is a progress report, right and not a final report? If that is the case, I'd sit down with her and talk about what she needs to do to bring the grade up but in the same breath, I'd remind her what a fabulous job she has been doing in her other classes.
You are a great mom, Meg!
Dannie - I have tried to explain to her that A & P is mainly memorization and offered to work with her on it - but - she is 15 and she knows so much more about life then I do.
6 A's is nothing to sneeze about. I am very proud od her for that and she knows it - but the F kinda ruined my excitement about the others. I hope she can pull it up to at least a C before report cards.
My 15 year old daughter has an attitude also. Every time I try to discipline her, my wife lets her off the hook.
Obviously she is bright enough based on her other grades to not get an F. Thus, it was lack of effort. Lack of effort should never be tolerated, and I would punish her somehow. You could ground her, cut off time from her boyfriend, etc until the grade improves. I would also go talk to her teacher to find out what the real problem is. Maybe she just messed up on one test.
either way, I was a C student in school, I grew up with my mum and she didnt do great at school so she was pleased as long as i was doing my best. but she did laugh when i got a 'E' in my sports class for coming like 110 out of 120 in the cross country run. even she didnt care about that.
Gotta love parental controls on the cell phone - I can control when and who she can talk to and text with. It is great!
On a good note tho - she did ask me for a planner today - you know - a calendar to keep track of stuff. So maybe some part of our talk last night sank in.
she just needs to focus more on that area than she is, or figure out what she isnt understanding.
your kid is way smarter than i ever was. Kudos for that.
also, does nobody see the joke about getting a 69 in anatomy??
also, it took me almost 10 minutes to write that message in such a way that it wouldnt offend or cause an argument, because thats not what im looking for. im just trying to offer another view. :D
I think you really need to lay down the law. I was in a similar situation in high school as your daughter. I brought home a grade that was below my normal grade and got into some serious trouble from my parents. Although the grade I brought home was a good grade, a B, both my parents and I knew that I didnt try hard enough. And to me this is what it is all about. Effort.
RickMonday - that is what I mean - it is about the fact that she will put forth the effort in classes she likes but decides she doesn't like this class and just does not try
soundchick - I wish there was something else I could take away - but she rarely watched TV - loves to read (I can't exactly take away books). The only other thing left is the laptop - and I had already decided to cut off the wireless in the house for the next two weeks so that she can't get on the internet - LOL So phone limit and no internet - she should have plenty of time to study now.
1. Do you know for a fact that she is not putting effort into the class? Is that what she told you or what the teacher told you?
2. Is punishing her in such a way getting the message you want across, or is it so that you feel you're more in control of the situation? All the teenagers I know get punished and dwell on the cause and the effect, but have no real drive or information to help prevent it from happening again. Especially if she is having real, honest to god TROUBLE in the class, a punishment is like seeing a drowning man and, instead of figuring out how to save him, scolding him for getting in that situation in the first place. By taking away privileges, you've made studying a punishment unto itself. I remember always doing worst when I felt like I was being forced to study...heck, it's part of the reason why study halls are useless periods of time.
3. The As need to be commended, at least, if not rewarded. Studies say that for every criticism, you need to match with at least three bits of praise. Sounds "self helpish", but it's true.
4. I don't agree with anyone that says that, based on one progress report, she should close all doors related to medicine.
RickMonday, you sound like a great dad, but I'm so glad I wasn't your teenager! I think I would've been in so much trouble. Permanent house arrest.
her response" I forgot to turn in a project - I got it 1/2 done and got a 55 on it
My response: Jess - how do you forget to turn in a project
Her response: She assigned it over the weekend
ok - a little background - her boyfriend (her first) comes over and hangs out on Friday nights - they either walk to the movies or watch a movie on TV. He also comes over on Satuday afternoon and they either walk to the mall or hangout at the house - help me cook dinner - eat and then watch TV until 9:00 when he goes home.
On Sundays - she goes to church with him in the morning and then with her BFF from 4:00 p.m. until 8:30 p.m.
In my mind - she blew the project off to hang out with the boyfriend because she knew she would not have time to do it on Sunday with church.
At the risk of sounding like a headcase, I did a bit of testing in high school, seeing what would get a rise out of my parents. My brother was super gifted and I did well too, but had to work for it. So I said, screw it, what if I don't? I shaped up super quick once I realized that rather than flip out my parents were heartily disappointed. So I don't know how you feel about the guilt card but it sure work on me. ;-)
Best of luck! What a blessing that on the whole you and your daughter get along so well.
I honestly forgot she assigned it. I've already brought it up to a 75.
And the teacher doesn't give extra credit...
rawr